Back in December I wrote about a taking part in the EPSRC Digital Economy Ideas Factory Sandpit “Design for the People by the People”. Although we preliminarily were told that our project was going to be funded we still had to go through 2 more rounds to secure the funding. Given the “economic downturn” and all the financial doom and gloom out there, we have been on tenterhooks since January, fearful that the funding may get yanked. We also had to up our budget, due to changes in FEC (Full Economic Costings) which could also jeopardise our application, given there was only a certain amount of money being allocated.

Last week we got back the news that we have been awarded a total of £1.39 million for our three year project!!!! We were ecstatic, particularly given that not all the projects from the sandpit that the EPSRC had given the preliminary go-ahead were actually funded!!!!

Over the past few months we have been beavering away working on the applications and submitting them. It has been a difficult process particularly for me because I do not have a full staff contract and because one of the university VP’s is somewhat belligerence and short sighted, I can not be credited as a co-investigator on the grant paperwork, even though that is essentially what I am, due to my status as a PhD student. It is all very frustrating, when I have put in as much work on the grant application as the others. Not all of them have phd’s and my experience is just as valuable as theirs, which thankfully they recognise and as a team have been fantastically loyal and very supportive of me in this admin nightmare. So I am down on the funding application as a named RA on the project, which is at least something, but unless I point it out and make a song and dance about it, on paper, no one can see that my contribution and role is equivalent to the other core team co-investigators.

This is totally a UoD issue, and I am not the only art practice based PhD there in this position, another researcher has also gone thorugh exactly the same horrors with a funding bid which he has been working on – really the “rules” should be more flexible in art to allow for the fact that many people doing art and design PhD’s at the moment are quite often not fresh out of undergrad studies and in some cases have more experience in their field in industry etc than the staff supervising them! Doing an art practice based PhD is very different from a science one: a good metaphor, (though the scientists may not like it), would be that Art is like wine and cheese which both need time to mature, where as Science may be more akin to meat where the older it is the tougher it gets. You just can’t apply the same rules to both!

Anyway enough about that, this is supposed to be a happy positive post about the fact that we got the money!!!!! (not mismanagement of UoD). I will be working with a great group of people who do recognise my worth and are very supportive so I am really looking forward to starting the project.

Originally we were going to start on the 1st of May, but due to the long time the EPSRC took in finalising the money, they offered us the option of changing the start date, so we have opted for the 1st of July. At this point I shall be a 0.5 RA on the project and drop my phd status from full time to part time, though I am hoping to finish in pretty much the same amount of time as the project is strongly related to my phd studies anyway.

The 1st of July start date works well in that I shall have more time before the project starts to work on artworks for my phd, but then the baby is due on the 21st of July, so this shall make things, to say the least… interesting…. Yes, there is lots of thinking and weighing up options and planning to be done!

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am travelling to Mexico and Australia (and also a few days here and there in San Diego and Singapore) to see family. One thing I haven’t yet mentioned is that I am also pregnant – now about 6 months. So here I am doing a phd, travelling round the world, juggling a lecturing job and attending to the joys of pregnancy.

I am determined to continue with my phd – wild horses couldn’t stop me. I truly love doing research and making my art, but I do realise somehow I have to take time out to have a baby. I am also happy to be pregnant and have always said that I won’t put my life on hold for a phd, but nor will I put the phd on hold for life… so somehow I shall do both!

It does mean that I shall be presenting at ISEA a month after the baby is due, and both my (original) supervisors have had babies so it has been good talking with them about it all. I am lucky in that everyone I have encountered at the University of Dundee has been very supportive and understanding, knowing how much I love what I do. I am so thankful not to have encountered sexist remarks about pregnancy brain (which I do not believe in) or any other ridiculous comments about the intellectual/ professional capabilities of pregnant women and mothers.

My supervisors did warn me though that presenting at ISEA so closely after the baby is born may have drawbacks. At the moment my pregnancy is low risk, but if for example I have to have a c-section then I am not allowed to drive etc for 6 weeks, which would put a spanner in the works. The original plan was to drive from Dundee to Belfast with baby and partner in tow, with him looking after the wee one while I am at the conference, but I guess I need to prepare myself for all eventualities. Of course I am going to think positively that everything goes fine, but one never knows with things like childbirth. Also both my supervisors have said that the whole feeding and getting no sleep thing really kicks in about a month after the birth and one is totally knackered.

I am not ready yet, though to succumb to the thought of not being able to do things and I just so have my heart set on going to ISEA. The theme this year is just perfect for my research and it is really important that I get my work out there and start making a name for myself (though I guess tis probably not the best to do it not covered in baby vomit and in a sleep deprived craze). I also am so keen to see what everyone else in the field is doing as well!

Being on the road now (currently in Mexico – Baha California, where they are under marshall law due to the drugs cartels and murders getting way out of hand) has made me think about taking juggling things and taking on board the experiences of my supervisors. It isn’t a bed of roses travelling long haul and for weeks on end when pregnant, (try waiting in a queue for 2 hrs at the Tijuana/ San Diego border crossing with tiny feet dancing on your bladder!) but at least I am self contained and it is just me, while with a baby, one has become two and I guess I shall have to really has to consider things a little more….

Roadside stalls tout their tat to those in the queue to get back into the US

At the Tijuana border, getting closer to the US border