As I mentioned in my previous post, I am travelling to Mexico and Australia (and also a few days here and there in San Diego and Singapore) to see family. One thing I haven’t yet mentioned is that I am also pregnant – now about 6 months. So here I am doing a phd, travelling round the world, juggling a lecturing job and attending to the joys of pregnancy.

I am determined to continue with my phd – wild horses couldn’t stop me. I truly love doing research and making my art, but I do realise somehow I have to take time out to have a baby. I am also happy to be pregnant and have always said that I won’t put my life on hold for a phd, but nor will I put the phd on hold for life… so somehow I shall do both!

It does mean that I shall be presenting at ISEA a month after the baby is due, and both my (original) supervisors have had babies so it has been good talking with them about it all. I am lucky in that everyone I have encountered at the University of Dundee has been very supportive and understanding, knowing how much I love what I do. I am so thankful not to have encountered sexist remarks about pregnancy brain (which I do not believe in) or any other ridiculous comments about the intellectual/ professional capabilities of pregnant women and mothers.

My supervisors did warn me though that presenting at ISEA so closely after the baby is born may have drawbacks. At the moment my pregnancy is low risk, but if for example I have to have a c-section then I am not allowed to drive etc for 6 weeks, which would put a spanner in the works. The original plan was to drive from Dundee to Belfast with baby and partner in tow, with him looking after the wee one while I am at the conference, but I guess I need to prepare myself for all eventualities. Of course I am going to think positively that everything goes fine, but one never knows with things like childbirth. Also both my supervisors have said that the whole feeding and getting no sleep thing really kicks in about a month after the birth and one is totally knackered.

I am not ready yet, though to succumb to the thought of not being able to do things and I just so have my heart set on going to ISEA. The theme this year is just perfect for my research and it is really important that I get my work out there and start making a name for myself (though I guess tis probably not the best to do it not covered in baby vomit and in a sleep deprived craze). I also am so keen to see what everyone else in the field is doing as well!

Being on the road now (currently in Mexico – Baha California, where they are under marshall law due to the drugs cartels and murders getting way out of hand) has made me think about taking juggling things and taking on board the experiences of my supervisors. It isn’t a bed of roses travelling long haul and for weeks on end when pregnant, (try waiting in a queue for 2 hrs at the Tijuana/ San Diego border crossing with tiny feet dancing on your bladder!) but at least I am self contained and it is just me, while with a baby, one has become two and I guess I shall have to really has to consider things a little more….

Roadside stalls tout their tat to those in the queue to get back into the US

At the Tijuana border, getting closer to the US border 

Finally I have done my transfer and passed! It has taken so long to get to this stage, and despite my first supervisor saying that I could start on the next stage before my transfer, I was so distracted by the whole process and getting through my transfer I haven’t started making artworks yet. One has to be in the right frame of mind for that type of thing and having a stressful thing like a transfer hanging over one like the sword of Damocles is hardly condusive to making works of art.

The feedback I had was very helpful and is good for making me refine my methodologies more, though I do know that I have been far more rigorous on methodology that other art phd’s who have not been questioned at all on their unclear methodologies – * sigh * c’est la vie - at least it will prepare me well for my final viva in a couple of years time.

In terms of my supervision, it was decided that since my phd is going down a rather fine art route, my first supervisor was probably not as appropriate as other staff may be. She has been good in terms of her experience in supervising phd’s and for making sure that I am properly backing myself up with evidence, but I agree that her subject area has less cross over with my research than it did at the beginning of my phd. One of the examiners on the transfer panel offered to take her place as he is very interested in my work, and so I happy for that to happen, though I did say that I would still like to be able to tap into my now ex-first supervisor as an advisor and she was happy with this.

The positive feedback I got was that my transfer document was well written and interesting (yay! – I have read so many boring ones!). The head of postgraduate studies even asked if she could use it as an exemplar for other students. I told her yes as long as it wasn’t going to be a bad example given that it is 3 times the length it is supposed to be! Oh the irony… it is going to be used as a good example despite its horror length!

It feels good to get it out of the way, and all I want to do now is start of making works, but I can’t… I have family obligations in Mexico and Australia which means I have taken 5 weeks leave to attend to those, and will be back on the 25th of April when hopefully I shall have a good chunk of uninterrupted time to clear my head and start developing my artworks properly. I am hoping that I can still do some work on my phd whilst I am travelling, but past experience has shown this can be hard, especially when I have been away from my close family now for 18 months this stint, (9 years in total) so there is a fair bit to catch up on.